Bring on the Tears.

Well, it's official. I leave the country in exactly 2 weeks for the land of Oz. Its a strange sensation seeing it in black and white like that. I have been preparing for this trip for so long that it no longer is even really on my mind. My guess is that it will hit me in 3 big phases, and when it does it will be a barrage of tears and those awkward gasping breaths that are so terribly hard to stop once they start.

1. As I say goodbyes--This includes individual goodbyes to people as well as the horrific trek to the airport with my family. Which, i can only apologize for in advance as i know i will be all tears and emotions.

2. The flight from LAX to Brisbane-- this is when it will set in a second time. I will finally be realizing that oh my gosh. i'm not staying in California with family but actually leaving everyone i know behind to head off to a whole other side of the world. well frick.

3. About 2 or 3 weeks into my trip, after my initial gallivanting around is done--I can already tell you that the first few weeks i'm n Australia I will feel like i'm on vacation. I will be seeing Fraser Island, the Great Barrier Reef and chilling out in hostels. So, it is not until I start to look for a job that I will suddenly realize that it will be another year before I see my family and friends from home again. 

It's not that I'm dreading these moments (with the exception of the first one which I will hate with the entirety of my being due to the number of times I will probably cry in front of people). Actually, quite the opposite. I relish moments of sadness lie this in travel. Yes, they are hard but they are a reminder that I am loved and that if all else fails i have people to come home to. Of course there is the old cliche that life wouldn't be as sweet without all the bitterness. Well, yes. Sometimes missing home is just the push i need to venture further into my new environment. It is a reminder that God provided incredible relationships before and He can do it again. So yes, I am terrified for the horrible bouts of loneliness I am  more than likely to encounter (if you know me at all you probably have caught on that i don't deal with being alone well). However, I look forward to the change, to the ways in which those hard moments can help me grow. 

Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds knowing that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. So let perseverance complete its work in you that you may be whole and complete.

James 1:2-4