Okay, so I'm a terrible person. I apologize for not posting more often near the end. I'll try to do better when I head off onto my next adventure this Spring=] But, for now, i'll fill you in on the past few weeks and how the best summer of my life ended.
The last few weeks were incredible. Lots of awesomeness including but not limited to: An epic battle on the beach using cardboard shields and foam noodle swords(
CHECK IT OUT HERE), a night of dancing outside, a water slide into the bay, country western dancing at a dance hall about an hour away, our final FNL with the theme of $5 prom (which of course brought out the insanity in everyone=]), a wonderful night of love at the student farewell banquet, a final night of worship and reflection on the beach and a night of laughter and craziness the night that everyone left.
the last day of project went something like this:
6:30 am --wake up
7am-12pm--CLEAN EVERYTHING
12-2pm --Sporadic lunch eating
2pm-6pm--Hanging out and waiting for food
6pm-- DINNER
7pm--Last Night of Reflection
8pm--Worship on the Beach
10pm-7am--Hang out, Nom on whatever we can find, and say goodbye to everyone that's leaving
8am--there are 8 people left and we had our last meal consisting of sparkling lemonade, frozen fruit, sherbet, and whatever else we found left in the fridge of Condo 1
9am--the last of us are shuttled to the airport
12:30pm--the 4 of us left at the airport end up heading our separate ways
1pm--Kaye Finally gets some sleep
It was a night of laughter, fun, joy, lack of sleep and tears as we said goodbye. But I know that regardless of what happens in the rest of our lives I'm going to get to enjoy hanging out with them for the rest of eternity=]
Since there's no way i'll be able to remember everything I did in the past 3 weeks, here's a synopsis of what I learned:
1. Approval
I have to stop looking at others for approval and God smacked me over the head with that every day the last week or so. He is the only one I need approval from and because of Christ, I already have it. So why search for it from anyone else??
2. Forgiveness
One of the biggest things God asked of me in the last few weeks is to forgive someone in my life that had truly hurt me and it was by far the hardest thing I did on project. After I forgave him I really felt God calling me to ask him to forgive me for holding it against him. Let me just say that it's a miracle that he could even understand what I was saying between all my crying. But, per usual, God ended this story exactly how we both needed it to and our relationship is stronger than ever. Never again will I underestimate the power of pride to hold us back and the power of forgiveness to heal.
3. Reality
With the end of project looming it was really scary to face the idea of coming back to reality. We'd been in this Christian bubble for so long that it was getting crazy to think we'd have to face the real world at school in not too long. God's been so faithful this summer in providing me with a community to lean on, learn from and grow with and now He's sending me (and everyone else) out to create that same community wherever we go. While it is a little disheartening to think that going back to school there will be an onslaught of people wondering why I spent my summer the way I did and thinking it was a waste of time, it's also exciting to think of what God's going to do once I get back there. I have another good girlfriend who went on Summer Project elsewhere and we've already talked about some things we're looking at bringing back to UVA. Then, one of the awesome guys from project texted me to let me know that there are some girls at school that he really wants me to try and get connected to the Christian community at UVA. God's faithfulness endures forever (psalm 117:2)!! Being home now, I can already see what a difference this summer has made in my life. To think that a few months ago I thought I was pretty solid in my walk and this summer completely blew that preconception out of the water. There is always something left to learn and I cannot wait to see where God leads me in this coming year.
4. Dedication
Okay, so this one's here for a few reasons. First, it's something I have really felt God calling me to and second, I need people to hold me accountable so here's my confession to the world. For the next year, it's me and God. I really want to dedicate a year to TRULY getting to know my creator. This summer was only the beginning of me realizing how immense His love for us is and I can't wait to grow in that truth over the next year. In fact I think God set this year up for just that purpose. I went on a summer mission trip I didn't expect to, changed a ton, am taking it back to school to help a community of believers grow and then spending my spring semester abroad. How is that God ordained?? How about the fact that after I spend a semester pouring out as much as I can all that I've learned this summer and been poured into by my discipler and small groups in an entirely new way, i'll be going to a country that NEEDS to be poured into and in doing so forced to fully rely on God. In Deuteronomy 8:2 it talks about how god led the Israelites through desert to humble them and test them to know what was in their heart. Well, we're all going to have deserts time and time again in our lives and I think this study abroad is going to be my next major desert. But, God also says that he will not allow us to be tempted beyond our ability (1 corinth 10:13). He will be there as I go off on my own this spring to jump to my rescue and stand by me as my faith is tested again and again. Life is trial by fire and i'm excited to see what God has in store!=]
DEDICATION OF THIS YEAR TO GOD COMMENCES.....NOW.
5. Obligation
okay, so this was a much more recent discovery but I just want to share it with everyone. Romans 8:12-14 says....
Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. 13 For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.
14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.
Read that again. We have an OBLIGATION. We are not just asked to live by the spirit but OBLIGATED to do so. When I first read that I had to stop a second and consider that. How are we obligated to follow the spirit? What about grace?
So let's lay out a scenario. You go to the bakery and buy a beautiful, decidedly delicious looking cake, but, as soon as you get home and take a bite you find out that its stale inside. How annoying is that? You were so excited to enjoy your evening with some friggin good cake and it ends up stale. We expect to get what we pay for! When we buy something we want it to be everything we hoped and when it's not then (in this case) the bakery hasn't held up it's end of the bargain of providing a good that met the standards of what we paid for. So how does this connect to Romans?
Of course God is going to forgive us for anything we do to further separate ourselves from Him, because that's what he
promised when He sent Christ to die for us. So what did we promise when we
accepted that sacrifice? We promised to not do what we'd done before. We promised to lean on him for our needs. We promised to trust His word. We promised to follow after Him with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30). That's what God paid for and when we decide to give our lives to Him we're saying we're going to try to give God what He paid for. In the case of this passage it's saying God bought us so that we would lean on the spirit and follow Him and NOT the ways of this world. So are we as Christians holding up our end of the bargain? Are we meeting our obligations of leaning on the spirit in any and everything?
Are we going to meet our end all the time? No. Of course not. We're human and God knows that we'll slip back into our old ways time and time again. So, he gives us grace through Christ to return time and time again. But, on that same token accepting that someone died so that you may live and not attempting to live up to that type of love is ridiculous. God's love is a crazy love and our only obligation is to accept that and to attempt to follow Him to the best of our ability. I'd say we got the better end of that deal=]
insanity. God is awesome and I love when He absolutely overwhelms me with truth like that=] So here I am raising a glass (figuratively of course, I'll do it for real in November) to my attempt to live up to my obligation as a Daughter of the King!
Psalms 103:1-5
